[ By AdelC ]
Nobody has a perfect life. At least, that was what I was constantly told from a young age and what I continue to believe. When I was in my teens and early twenties, I thought everything will be ‘perfect’ when I land my dream job, have my own family, achieve my own financial freedom and live my own life! But little did I know, problems would never stop evolving. Challenges won’t stop happening in life either – they merely get exchanged one after another and come in different shapes or forms – such is our reality.
Everything, however, made perfect sense when I came across a book by Mark Manson, quoting that happiness comes from solving problems. It is always through solving your problems that you will find real happiness and through experience, I couldn’t agree more.
LET GO OF THE ‘VICTIM’ MENTALITY
When a problem arises and we are stuck in self-pity, we run the risk of never finding our way out or learning from it in a positive way. Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame external circumstances – and we don’t want that.
Sure, when something doesn’t go my way, instead of trying to grin and bear it, I would sometimes allow myself to feel sad and cry – and that’s okay, after all, we are only human. We are allowed to process our feelings because it is healthier to release than to suppress our emotions. But what’s important is that after each emotional release, I will stand up, take responsibility to view the situation and challenge myself to stop the self-pitying and overcome these challenges.
With all the disasters happening in our world right now, it is almost too easy to find examples of people in less fortunate situations, having a harder time than we are. This is almost the only time when it is okay to use comparison to bring light to a difficult situation.
LET GO OF THE ‘CHALLENGES’ MAKE SPACE FOR GROWTH
No matter how intense my problems were, I would tell myself to take them as opportunities to learn and grow.
From family, to work and health issues – like many others – my life has been nothing but a series of ups and downs. Honestly, in hindsight, I have grown so much mentally and emotionally as a result of not backing down.
Life is filled with various setbacks to test and challenge our endurance. It is through facing and solving problems that came my way that have shaped my outlook and helped me understand what happiness truly is. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger!
ACKNOWLEDGE (AND BE GRATEFUL) FOR THE GOOD IN LIFE
I’m a true believer in expressing my gratitude on a daily basis. Practicing gratitude certainly keeps me on track especially when I am able to acknowledge the good despite how challenging a situation seems to play out.
I am grateful of simple pleasures in life – like waking up after a solid seven hours of rest, to the bigger blessings such as having good health and being surrounded by loved ones. As I continue to practice the attitude of gratitude, I am able to change my default response from negative to positive. And a good place to start today? Try to understand (and accept) that challenges are inevitable and go with the flow instead of trying to resist what we cannot change.